Humans, by nature, would always blame their fellow humans for failing, making mistakes, or disappointing them.
These blames come even when they do not know what transpired or the reason for the person’s actions.
Even family members and close friends are sometimes guilty of this act. When an event occurs, a plethora of unsolicited advice is offered.
Humans are judgmental by nature, but it is critical to understand that being judgmental can only prevent openness and bridge communication gaps that would have averted or corrected an incident that was already waiting to happen.
Being judgmental causes emotional, mental, and psychological trauma, suffocating the victim’s voice and self-esteem.
Judging people and confining them to cardboard boxes makes them unhappy and can cause someone to lose their sense of humour.
Again, when something appears to be out of the ordinary, norm, tradition, or belief, the first reaction is always a judgment.
Distinction between good and bad judgment
It is true that judging people can sometimes help them get back on track, but it can also destroy a person’s essence of living.
Being judgmental is a necessary survival trait for the human species but it is then necessary to recognize the distinction between good and bad judgment. Knowing when and what to judge is critical to one’s feelings and existence.
For instance, on March 28, 2022, a young doctor was injured in the Abuja-Kaduna train attack, and after being shot, she tweeted the story as it unfolded, pleading with Nigerians to pray for her.
Trolls descended on her timeline, casting doubt on her tweet, with netizens tweeting devastating comments, and at the end of the day, it was discovered that her story was true, and she eventually died from her wounds.
Who knows, maybe help would have arrived sooner if social media users had devoted the same amount of time judging her, to seeking help from relevant authorities.
Silence in the face of abuse
Many people, like the young doctor, are traumatized as a result of various issues ranging from rape to abuse, terror, and the plethora of challenges we face today, but choose to remain silent and bottle up their feelings for fear of being judged by their religious bodies, society, and sometimes even immediate family members.
A recent case in point is the death of a famous gospel singer in an Abuja hospital as a result of blood clots on her chest caused by an alleged beating by her spouse.
She was quoted as saying that if it hadn’t been for her religious beliefs and what society would think of her, she would have left her marriage.
She must have considered the fact that Nigerians are too judgmental, and they would probably say she failed in her marriage and didn’t try to work things out; she must have considered all the record deals and invitations she would have missed if she had called it quits; she must have considered how she could be denied the microphone in church for leaving her marriage, or used as a topic for preaching as someone who couldn’t handle her marriage.
She was afraid of the stigma, so she prioritized society over her own existence, remaining silent until her death.
This is just one of far too many such instances.
Stay and die
Some people are fortunate to survive, while others are not.
In this light, society should, as an appeal, refrain from judging people who decide to quit when they believe they can no longer keep going, because only the person who wears the shoes knows where it pinches.
Individuals should also prioritize their existence over any human judgment in order to avoid falling into a circumstance that may be fatal.
For it is preferable to quit and live than to stay and die.
Writing by Obumnaeme Ukeje of our current affairs unit; Editing by Saadatu Albashir